Payday Sunday

I am writing this while standing in a massive line for our pay checks. Not only do these lines turn even the most patient worker into a raging barbarian, it also resulted in many brawls and injuries. I was fortunate enough to shove myself into a position near the front of the line where Mr. Mini Mew gave me my pay. I had narrowly escaped several fights to end up standing nearly touching the people beside me in the line. Not even the aroma of the flower arrangements could cover the body odor of my compatriots.

By the power and authority bequeathed in Mr. Mini Mew, Mr. Ian D. King is hereby appointed to the rank of Securities Head 2c, where he shall carefully and diligently carry out his duties. By Her Highness' Command, Madame Hippy Chick

It had gone to the point where the HRs began to line the people using plants that were rumored to have hypnotic effects. I was glad, hypnosis or not, that the crowd started to get under control as though an invisible hand had taken hold of them.

New Backup HQ

A group of dedicated HR toiled into the wee hours of the night to make a safe working environment that is less austere and spartan for the workers. Imagine my surprise when the next morning I was told that the new HQ backup was completed. We also had new uniforms.

Me in the old uniform standing beside the new.

A red carpet greeted me as I walked to the doors. Standing in the front was a row of desks that seemed to be made out of pure gold. Columns in the resting area, I later learned, were obtained from the ruins of a temple on the island of Crete. However, a designer thought they looked better standing upside-down so he had them modified.

Roman columns before they were transported and modified for SWAT.

A bag of popcorn was later thrust to me by Lady Jesza-in, a kind gesture of welcome into the base. The popcorn had extra butter on it that was freshly melted, with a crunch and a liquid sensation in the mouth that moviegoers had enjoyed for several decades. I later learned that a popcorn machine had been obtained from a movie theater that had recently shut down.

This is making me drool...

I saw that just before she handed me the bag, Jesza-in drizzled a bit of coconut oil and sprinkled some salt on the popcorn. Now I shall repeat the steps to ensure that my home has better tasting popcorn for my houseguests during movie nights. A rare dinosaur egg is also present, having been painted black for the company's badge color.

Painted black by a bunch of specialists

A wonderful flower arrangement has been provided by the company for the ones in security. Its scents wafted through the entire headquarters, providing a rich perfumed aroma for all workers to smell. In the training room, a black-and-white checkered floor that was provided by the gracious workers of See's Candies ignited memories of chocolate and candies.

If SWAT is trying to get us off a diet, they're doing a good job.